The Special Day Plate
When my children were young, we had a plate from Pampered Chef that was navy blue and had in white writing the word “Celebrate” around the edge. It was our “special day” plate and we used it for huge accomplishments like a good spelling test grade or the first day of a new activity or mastering a new skill. We also used it for birthdays, awards and other major events – but it was the everyday milestones served with spaghetti or the likes that made it magical. As they got older, we used it less and celebrated the big milestones at restaurants or with fancy meals at home. The plate got moved out of the cabinet at some point and has not been used in many years.
This week marks the 1-year anniversary of Dave’s completion of radiation. He saw the surgeon on Monday and there are no signs of reoccurrence. He now moves to an every eight-week schedule instead of every six, which is reason enough to celebrate. It also means his odds of reoccurrence become less with each passing visit. On Friday, we celebrated his anniversary with our daughters and their significant others. It was an outdoor festivity as we are still being Covid cautious with food delivered from a restaurant our son-in-law introduced us to and which has become a favorite. In addition, we celebrated our youngest daughter’s new job which she began this week. Mexican food, cupcakes with sprinkles, margaritas and bubbly in the backyard while we watched WandaVision and caught up on each other’s news was a great way to end the week.
Last night, Dave and I had a second mini-celebration on the exact date that radiation ended. I had every intention of celebrating big this year – inviting friends and family to gather with us as both a celebration and a thank you for their roles in his recovery. Instead, Dave made dinner while I opened some bubbly and we caught up on some episodes of shows we are finally watching. We didn’t talk about it much this week – a couple of short discussions about what things were like a year ago and then moved on to new topics. No drum rolls or fanfare to mark the occasion.
This morning as I was drinking coffee and thinking about this anniversary, I thought about the plate. During one of my many reorganizations this pandemic, I discovered the plate on a shelf and pondered whether to move it back to the kitchen cabinets. This morning I wish I had discovered it a year ago and used it for all those ordinary milestones this year that passed without observance. I wish I had used it to serve the scrambled eggs Dave ate that first meal after he was cleared for real food again. I wish I had used it when he got through the first radiation treatment without any issues even though the mask still stressed him out tremendously. I wish it was on the table when he got his first set of scans back and everything looked like it should. I wish I’d served meatloaf on it the first time we argued post-treatment because it meant our lives were getting back to normal. I wish it was there when we hit the 6-month mark, the second set of clear scans, the anniversary of the first biopsy and every six-week visit the past year that ended with “things look good”.
As we move forward in this journey, the medical milestones still stretch out before us. When we get to 18 months post treatment, his chances of reoccurrence become even less and his time between visits elongates. As the world becomes vaccinated and the risk of infection lessens – I hope the next anniversaries look more like we hoped for a year ago and we can’t wait for those big celebrations.
However, in the early morning light over my second cup of coffee, it became clear to me that the plate needs to return to the kitchen cabinet. It may only be Dave and I at home now and our special days may look different from those that occurred 20 years ago, but I’m pretty sure we can find milestones to celebrate that aren’t cancer related this year. And that, in and of itself is pretty special!!